How to Improve Quality of Life for Your Loved One

When you were growing up, your parents were your care givers. They made sure you were safe, well fed, clothed, had medical care and that finances were available for the things you needed. But being your caregiver was about more than just giving you the basics of survival and health. 

Now your turn has come to be the care giver for your parents. They need you now as they move into their older years and they are less able to attend to those basic needs of life. You’ll find you need to take steps to assure they are safe and that they have the right food to eat for their diet. You can make sure their clothes are clean and that their medications are there for them every day. You also can look after their finances so there is plenty available to take care of the necessities of life and none is wasted or taken from them by scam artists.

But just as growing up in your family, there is another element of being a care giver and that element can be boiled down to the phrase, “quality of life.”

That is a good phrase because if your childhood had times of joy and happiness because you were part of a loving family, that was because your mom and dad went beyond the physical basics and made your life fun, full of love and laughter and good times that you would remember forever.

Perhaps you reminisce about those times with your elderly parents even today. But as you remember those terrific vacations or all the wonderful, Christmases and the many funny things that happened in your family when you were growing up, two people made sure your life was rich and full that way. And those two people are these same two people you are now charged to care for – mom and dad.

So how can you do all you can to enhance the quality of life for your parents in their retirement years? 

If we can find ways to give them happy times, time of laughter and love, that will be a fitting pay back for the loving household they provided to you all those years. Here are just a few things you can make happen to make their lives happier and increase their quality of life…

• Dinner every week. If you have a routine time when you either come to your parents home and bring dinner or have them to your place to enjoy some family time, that will become a favorite night of the week for your elderly loved one.
• Lots of family time. The real value of being in the same town as your parents is they can have lots of time with your family. Let them be part of many of the family things you do such as church, school activities and fun outings during the spring and summer as well.
• Make the holidays festive. What would the holidays be without Grandma? And if Grandpa makes a good Santa Clause, you will surely to make his day as well as that of the other family members around.  
• Make their house a home. As a caregiver, sometimes the chore of cleaning and maintaining your parent’s apartment falls to you, but don’t just “settle” for a nice clean look. Dig out those great things mom used to have on the walls and shelves at home when she had her own place. Try to give her room at the senior retirement center, or wherever she is living, a feeling of home as much as possible. Then she will feel comfortable and happy among the things that make this is her place and hers alone and you will have improved her quality of life.

If you can create the same joy, the same fun and the same sense of “home” for your elderly parent that they created for you and your siblings growing up, then you will have taken one more step toward giving back a little of what was given to you. 

But there is a real value to giving your retired parents the same love and good times they gave to you. Laughter and love and happy times are therapeutic and can do a lot for the health and well being of your retired parent. Put that extra creativity you have into really giving to your parents the quality of life they gave to you and they will blossom where they are planted, just like that opportunity you and your siblings have had in life.

NEW YEAR….NEW YOU, Thoughts for Caregivers

Whether you're a caregiver for a family member or an in home care provider, New Years is a perfect time to reassess. Here's some thoughts from one of our senior care providers.

2016 silently tiptoed out for many people who were not into the blowing-horns-saluting-the-New Year-with-bubbly mode.  On tiny cat feet, 2016 quietly walked out the door, and gave a hug to 2017 while whispering in its ear, “treat every day with kindness and love”.  Those who greeted the New Year with reflections of the past year and a cup of hot cocoa or Earl Grey tea may be thinking of new ways to journey along the path of 2017.  Resolutions may include getting more exercise, cutting down on nibbling junk food while watching tv or get started on that endless honey-do list.

I’ve thought about “New Year Resolutions” and realize that despite my good intentions, my resolves to do this or that fall by the wayside a few weeks after the New Year begins. This realization triggered some thought about making an effort to “do better” in small but significant ways.  Making changes that would put smiles on the faces of those who are in your little corner of the world would be a good starting point. 

POSITIVE THOUGHTS

When waking up in the morning, focus on the power of positive thinking.  Instead of lamenting “Oh, great!  My plate is over-filled today. How can I get it all done?” Think, instead, “I should prioritize what I have to do today.  I know I’ll be able to do this because, first-off, I like to do these things and secondly, hey, I’m good at doing them!” That kind of thinking will get your creative juices flowing and also make you feel good about yourself. Giving yourself a pat on the back is a gentle push to get moving in a positive direction, not a negative one. This resolution will make your inner self ready to meet the day and give it your best efforts.

KIND WORDS

Brushing your teeth is part of your morning routine.  Why not add another must-do?  Make a conscious decision, each morning, to speak kindly to your family as they gear up for their day – whatever it may be. Too often the hustle-bustle of getting breakfast, grabbing important paperwork, feeding the pets, throwing on a load of laundry or figuring out what else needs to be done before you head out the door…result in unkind words being thrown at family members.  Criticism spews from a mouth like an angry volcano.  Those in the path of such words become defensive and then, in turn, ready to speak unkindly to others.  Remember, once spoken, words cannot ever be retrieved!  Sure, you can follow up with “what I meant was” or “sorry”, but the damage has been done.  The target of your ire just had a chunk taken out of their heart.  Now there is a dead spot on that heart where once was a smile. I speak from experience of being on the receiving end of words that went right to my heart and did damage – it hurts!  Yes, this will take big-time effort on your part but what a life-changer it will become when you make it routine.  Sending your family (and yourself) off to meet the day with smiles is awesome!  A great resolution!

SINCERE CARING

Too often we know someone who is experiencing a huge bump in their road and their day is falling apart. We may tell them we are sorry or off-handedly say “let me know if I can help” and then hope they won’t really ask us to do this or that.  After all, aren’t we all busy with our own lives? Or so we tell ourselves. Reach out to friends, family or acquaintances when they need help.  Put aside some time in your day to check in on them and, again, remind them you really want to help.  Caring about others does not have a time limit – it is endless!  And rightly so.  Sincerity is caring with you going the extra mile. Think about it. After all, when someone reaches out to us and then follows up with a phone call or knock on the door, isn’t our load somewhat lightened knowing that someone really cares enough to want to help – that it just wasn’t an off-hand gesture?  Sincere caring is a resolution that will bless them and your own heart, too.

LOVE YOURSELF

This may sound weird but it’s not! Do you feel unworthy/unable to be loved?  Then you need to take a good look at yourself in the mirror and tell that person staring back that they are a good person -- talented, caring, and worthy of love and respect. Don’t be bashful. Don’t think you are being egotistic. You aren’t. Do you know that the hardest person to love is yourself?  You know everything about you – what you perceive to be your good and bad points. But - to be able to give love to others, to care about them and to give the best you can whatever the situation -- you need to be coming from a place of inner strength, self-approval and knowing that you are valued.  Resolve to take stock of the person who wears your shoes. By doing this frequently, you will be reminded to smile at that reflection in the mirror.

DON’T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS

How many of us form an opinion about a person or situation only to find out our idea of so and so or some event was totally off track? Rather than being patient, or listening intently or getting the whole story, we jumped the gun, thus putting a negative slant on a certain situation. How often have we hurt a person through word or action because we had formed a wrong conclusion? Make a New Year’s resolution to get all the facts. If you need to ask questions, then do so. 

BE BRAVE

It takes bravery to speak up about a situation that bothers you.  It is an injustice to a person if you don’t tell them if something they said or did is always on your mind.  I’ve always held to the premise that not saying anything when you need to means you really don’t care.  Having something eating at your heart and not talking about it is like an invisible rock hung on a chain around your heart – always heavy and wearing away at you.  I am not a person to make waves and I hate confrontation. But, there are times when I’ve had to take that very hard step to let someone know that something is wrong. I tell them that something they did or said is weighing heavy on my heart and we need to talk. When the air has been cleared, I can breathe easier and my heart steps lightly.  Resolve to clear the air and the sun will shine brighter for you!

WHAT DO THESE QUALITIES MAKE?

You may be asking how can these resolutions:  Positive Thoughts, Kind Words, Sincere Caring, Loving Yourself, Not Jumping to Conclusions and Be Brave have a connection with being a Caregiver?  Well, think about it. A Caregiver who starts their day with negative thoughts, biting words, off-handed offers to help, not being able to look in the mirror, making assumptions, or being too timid to clear the air walks into a client’s home dragging any of this name-it, claim-it baggage. Poof! Today’s road starts out rocky, not smooth. Adopting even one of these resolutions into your everyday life will put a spring into your step and a sincere smile on your face.  Your head will be ready to think, your hands will be ready to offer assistance and your heart will be ready to truly care about the person who needs you.  A Caregiver who is walking their New Year’s Resolution journey will bring sunshine and not gray skies to someone who needs to know they, too, are valued. Unlike winter’s sniffles, spreading these life-changing resolutions around would be awesome!

Whether you're a family caregiver or a homecare provider, what resolutions have you made which might help in your role as a caregiver?

Snowflakes of Memories: A Caregiver's Tale

As I look out the windows of the sliders, the December wind escorts snowflakes that are falling onto autumn leaves. Layers of sparkling flakes hide Mother Nature's paintbrush strokes that turned greens into a kaleidoscope of brilliant hues. Another chapter in my Book of Life as a Caregiver has begun. 

This is the second December I am a Caregiver for a beloved elder in my position with Abundant Blessings. This is my 18th month of watching the sun rise over the lake at dawn, and enjoying the sunset's pink glow in the evening. I believe conversation is a healthy stimulant for not only her, but myself.  She enjoys when I reach into my childhood memories to share bits and pieces of my life. These tales may give her a better understanding of why I am the person I am today - or at least I like to think so. Lately, it's natural to focus on Christmas - "it's the most beautiful time of the year" - so the song sung by Andy Williams says.  I realize, however, that I am giving myself a gift, bringing what is hidden in my heart to the forefront.  While verbalizing about how Christmas was celebrated, I become the twelve year old who is now allowed to stay up "to help Santa trim the tree on Christmas Eve". That was the year my father whispered in my ear, "When the other kids are asleep, quietly come back downstairs". An hour after the eight of us had each opened the present that mysteriously had appeared under the undecorated tree, (a pair of new pjs to wear Christmas morning) and climbed the stairs to our bedrooms, I tiptoed down the stairs to see my father putting lights on the tree. Boxes of ornaments were on the couch and my stepmother was busy wrapping gifts on the dining room table. That was when I knew who Santa really was. Naïve? Maybe, but gloriously so! And oh how my heart is singing when I think about these times.

That magical night, my father placed the old foil Santa Claus face on top of the tree.  It had been the same Santa that graced his childhood tree. My main job was to put the tinsel on each branch -- one piece at a time. Now, this wasn't tinsel that was new and shiny, but hefty pieces of shimmering foil that had been wrapped around pieces of cardboard and used year after year. Dad was like the "tinsel police" - watching that I did the hanging just right and admonishing me if I didn't. After what seemed like hours, my tinsel job was finished. I then helped my stepmother wrap gifts, mostly in green or red tissue paper, with Christmas stickers holding the pieces together. In a family of ten, scotch tape was a rare commodity, only to be used very sparingly. Those little stickers of candy canes, elves or angels barely held up through the night to Christmas morning. 

On Christmas morning, my father would turn the tree lights on and have "the kids" come down the stairs in age order - youngest to oldest (me). I still see the joy on the faces of my sisters and brothers as they saw the now decorated Christmas tree and the orderly stacks of presents underneath. My Dad was there taking pictures with the old video camera. We'd sit on the floor and my stepmom would hand us each a present to open.  I remember all of this to be orderly and not the harried ripping of paper that one generally sees nowadays. We didn't have many gifts, but what we were given made us smile.  Money was always tight in our household. Both parents worked on the B&M Railroad in the neighboring town, and my father also held other jobs at the same time - Police Chief, Fire Chief, snowplower in the town trucks. I well remember the trees he would cut "way up north" and haul back for us to sell at my uncle's hardware store or in our side yard. My siblings and I gathered Princess Pine from the woods and made wreaths to sell. We shoveled walks and driveways till our feet and fingers seemed frozen. That was how we earned our Christmas money. 

As I share my childhood memories with this wonderful lady I am Caregiver for, she, in turn, talks about her childhood Christmases.  Her eyes light up, she laughs, and long forgotten names and places come out of that hiding deep in her mind. I listen with my ears, but it is my heart that is catching each memory she is reliving. There is no sadness, no tears of days long lost. There is only the gifts of sharing and caring. Laughter fills the air. Unlocking wonderful memories is like opening up the door of the past with the key of love. And so the night ends, and we watch the falling snow blanketing the lake. We both smile, lost in the peace of our yesterdays.

As we celebrate this wonderful time of year be sure to share your own Christmas memories and reminisce with those you love. What are some of your favorite Christmas memories?

8 Touching Handmade Gift Ideas for Grandparents

By Michelle Perez

Yes, you can buy a present for a loving grandparent from a store, but they can be very impersonal. Why not make one with your kids? Kids will love the craft time and grandparents will love having something homemade.

"When a grandchild makes a handmade gift, the present is unique and the grandchild is giving of his time," says Sue Johnson, a grandmother of six from Lancaster, Virginia, grandparenting expert and author of Grandloving: Making Memories with Your Grandchildren. "It's also meaningful because we know they have been thinking about us when they made the gift, and it contains something of himself."

Like Johnson, Kimberly Jo Ellingsworth, a grandmother of five in Monterey, California, understands the significance of a handmade gift. "I always remember the look on my oldest grandson's face when he would bring something he made home and give it to us," she says. "He was so excited, and then even more excited because we used it rather than putting it on a shelf somewhere."

With the help of some very creative grandparents, we came up with eight fun ideas for things your little one can make (sometimes with your help) for this special person in their life.

1. Create a Collage
2. Grab your family photos and laminate them to place mats to send to grandma and grandpa. You'll always be there with them bringing joy to each meal.
3. Make a CD
4. Record the kids telling their grandparents about their favorite times with Nana and Papa "as a reminder of the importance of being together," Johnson says.
5. Share Some Sunshine
6. Have the kids draw grandma's favorite flower, then cut it out and have them paste their photo on it. Draw a big sun with your child's photo in it, and caption it "You are my sunshine!" Teach your kiddos the words to the song and put it on a CD to accompany the gift.
7. Assemble a Coupon Booklet
8. Have the kids come up with 10 things they can do for their grandparents -- everything from raking the yard to baking their favorite cookies -- and make each idea a coupon to put in a book.
9. Personalize Magnets
10. Get some magnetic tape and put pieces on the back of family photos to create instant fridge magnets.
11. Film a Homemade Video
12. Grab the video camera and record your kids being goofy. Or, as Johnson suggests, ask the kids to relay "our family history from the eyes of your grandchild."
13. Puzzle It Out
14. Paste a photo of your child on cardboard, cut it into pieces and send with instructions saying, "Put this together and see who loves you!"
15. Make a List
16. Write a list of "I love you because ..." statements to send to the grandparents to let them know how special they are.
17. Plan an Activity or Outing
18. Yes, physical gifts are nice, but grandparents often treasure the gift of memories with their grandkids even more. Your child and their grandparent can organize something fun for them to do together. For example, create a family trivia game with facts about each person, set up a scavenger hunt or get messy with an afternoon of finger painting. You can take photos of the special day and put them in an album from grandparents to look over.

Handmade gifts can be a tradition that grandkids and grandparents alike can look forward to. Get the little ones thinking of a new gift idea weeks, or even months in advance. This will make for a rewarding present the grandparents won't forget.

Michelle Perez is a freelance writer covering all things Denver. Her work can be found here.

Source: https://www.care.com/a/8-touching-handmade-gift-ideas-for-grandparents-1212092341